Welcome to
The bible tells us that mans urge towards the unknown made Adam and Eve eat apples, however that does not make any sense to the modern man or woman of today. We at SSI believe that Eve indulged in unnatural acts with a 35 ft. Python, and when Adam got upset, she talked him into joining in a bizarre threesome.
As God entered paradise, he saw the couple and the snake, and with great anger and fury, he threw the couple out, and started a search for the snake, but resigned, since the python was an allomost extinct species and because he knew that in due time he would have thousands of greenpeace activists demonstrating in front of the pearlygates.
Ever since that episode, mankind has had an urge to combine sexuality with learning. If it had not been for the above mentioned acts performed by the young couple, a lot of people today would not have had the opportunity to beat, strangle, sexually explot and kill their own pets today. We, the mankind, are in deep debt to that particular python who made all this possible.
We gain allmost all our knowledge from history, not by reading the same sentence 5 times, but by the pain when you are mistaken. This fact became our principle when we planned and prepared the following courses. This, and a wish to teach people in a way not seen before, making a cutting edge into the learning technology of today, ensuring that your course will not take 2 years, not one year, but will extremely fast, that is 3 to 4 weeks to speak French or peform surgery on a miscarriged dandylion, like any native would.
How is this possible, you ask your self. Well this picture is from our medical class, and it pretty much speaks for it self:
(You can study additional pictures from the classrooms by clicking this text or the picture below)
| Lulu and Rubette is teaching polish student Vaclav how to perform virtual spinalchord surgery on the extinct paleontosaurus. |
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| Your private supervising lady at | |
could be any of these competent women: |
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| Sukomi (Language) |
Nadia (Bikes) |
Ursula (Domestic) |
Babette (Design) |
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| Loriel (Art) |
Nancy (German) |
Elga (Household) |
Joanna (Dicipline) |
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| Betty (Shoe sales) |
Linda (Bitch) |
Tatjana (Survival) |
At the moment the following courses are available for you to join:
| Name | Description |
| Language (1-112) | The languageclasses |
| Comicbooks | Roger Rabbit revisited (Interpret the LIVE version of the cartoon) |
| Aupair | Nanny's and pets (Why being an au-pair can be a real challenge) |
| Bathing | Theres a fly on my dick (Course in bathing techniques) |
| Chemistry | Mom is a .... (What mothers would pay money not to know about metahydrochlorine) |
| Undertaking and embalming | A relative is dead. What should i do? (You won't belive what we have been through to bring you this) |
| Emmerdale farm (basic) | Removing objects from a cows rectum (This one is a real diamod) |
| Emmerdale farm (advanced) | Performing surgery on a horse (While alone, your horse is ill. Learn how to swing a scalpel) |
| Survival (basic) | In the hour of need (Alone with no money and clothes. How to survive in a pack of sheeps) |
| Survival (advanced) | I have been kidnapped (Learn how to survive with 4 neanderthal kidnappers and a frozen chicken) |
| Vivisectiony | The Bodysnatcher (Hate your looks? Learn how to exchange skin with anyone, prolonging pain) |
All of out courses have been carefully and thoroughly excercised before announcement. No cost has been spared to secure YOU the utmost in modern education. Our teachers and supervisors are handpicked from only the finest mental institutions in the world, such as Easy Death Asylum in Nevada, USA, Mental Bitch, California, USA, SchwanzRaus, Richsburg, Germany, Javla faen Putte, Smekinberget, Sweden etc. No expence has been spared and you wont lack anything when entering our school. The SSI-certificate is recognized throughout the world as a prove of knowledge and personal endurance. We at SSI are devoted to keeping it that way!